Letting go of something or someone and moving on.
This post might be a little chewy but a belly laugh at the end. I won’t deny I have had a tough year but the last month or so has been a real test. We all believe the clichés; everything happens for a reason, times of trouble make you stronger, people come into your life for a purpose, put your trust in God, perseverance will always pay off, hard work… blah, blah, blah… Easier said than believed much less done.
Pastor George spoke of personal breakthrough at church yesterday and left me with a very pondering question. Perfect timing! Dave and I talked about it on the way home. Dave, the social psychologist, advertising strategist, over the top thinker and incredibly supportive husband said “let’s talk about this later because you might not like what I have to say.” We have been together for 39 years this May, so it’s fair to say he knows me pretty well. Yikes!
If asked, Dave would name my autobiography, Wired to Fail. Hmm. Why do we live in the past, blame others, compare ourselves, dive into negative rabbit holes, never move beyond high school or get stuck in our teenage position within our families? Add to that procrastination, I will do that after I do this. I can’t do this until I do this, maybe after this happens I will do that... I continually put the brakes on just before huge success. I seldom allow myself to succeed or accept success. Why is that? I believe I am genuinely a happy, positive, encouraging person…for everyone other than myself. When I owned the Craft Kitchen I encouraged food-based entrepreneurs to go after their dreams. I helped many believe they could succeed in the food business but have I succeeded in my own? Why can’t I take my own advice and allow myself to succeed? Why, why, why?
I spent the afternoon thinking and painting. Last night, let me set the mood, I am sitting on our patio, lights in the trees, candles, music, a slight cool breeze and flowers intoxicating me. It’s a perfect night for clear thinking and introspection. Maybe that’s all we need sometimes, a new coat of paint, and time to detox our brains and bodies. Loose your largest client, step back, have bunion surgery, buy a car and a bus, break your elbow and wrist, try to cycle in Italy with real cyclists, remove self dissolving pins from your foot on 3 separate occasions because for me they didn’t dissolve, build a website, tackle the Amazon beast, create some new products, feed the masses, help parents down size, do some traveling and let go of a couple toxic relationships. Maybe I didn’t put on the brakes, it just took me a year to clean house. I am ready for a breakthrough. Thank you Dave and Pastor George. To quote Patrick, “Mom…come on, let’s go!” OK, you’re right it’s time…it’s my time.
Oh ya, not a belly laugh but certainly a smile…Bandit who is 115 years old has always slept in his crate or on our couch. We recently bought a new couch but put a blanket on it to hopefully not have to throw it out after Bandit passes because it will always smell like dead dog. There are 3 pillows that, unless friends are coming over are on the opposite end of the couch. I came out one morning at 5 (I still wake every morning at 5 as if I still owned the Tea House) to find Bandit sleeping with his head on one of the pillows and the blanket pulled down and on top of his paws. He received his breakthrough! Moral, do what you have to to be happy and make sure you maximize the comfort of your bed! Sleep is the best free detox available to us.